Monday, August 5, 2013

Should LeBron Allow DeShawn Stevenson to Join the Heat?

So DeShawn Stevenson wants to join the Heat. You know how the saying goes: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

After years of barking and gnawing at LeBron's ankles like a pesky little chihuahua, Stevenson has finally decided to throw in the towel. No longer will he bother the greatest basketball player of the generation with futile taunting attempts and other trivial shenanigans aimed at getting inside his head. He's realized that James has grown up and will no longer be shaken by verbal barbs coming from a role-player of his caliber. The time has come to cut his losses and see if the King has work for him.

It doesn't feel that long ago when Stevenson initiated the first push in his long-time "beef" with James. That was back in 2008, when LeBron's Cavaliers matched up with the Wizards in the playoffs for the third year in a row. LeBron was coming off of his first scoring title and seemed to be on the cusp of being the best in the league. Facing the possibility of being eliminated by the Cavs three years in a row, Stevenson decided to stir up some controversy by famously calling James "overrated." James brushed it off and the next thing you know, Jay-Z and Soulja Boy are hilariously thrown into the mix, which resulted in this gem.


This feud should've been over after Hova's third bar, but since we're dealing with DeShawn Stevenson here, this was dragged out and made to seem as if it was an actual "rivalry." Years later, when Stevenson was part of the Mavericks team that toppled the Heat in the unforgettable 2011 Finals, he persisted with his schtick against LeBron, claiming he "checked out" during Game Four.  Stevenson ultimately triumphed against LeBron, but his impact was subtle at best. Still, the narrative persisted.

Now, cut to 2013. LeBron has two back-to-back titles and totally changed his perception as an "unclutch" player. He is unquestionably The Man: the best player in the league on the best team in the league. Utterly unguardable on offense and a nightmare match-up on defense. Any doubt of LeBron's physical and mental fortitude has been wholly erased. It's to the point where there's nothing left for Stevenson to do but to make amends with his longtime nemesis. But should LeBron accept the plea, or simply allow Stevenson's career to fade into oblivion?

Take Him, LeBron!

The argument for LeBron accepting DeShawn onto the Heat is two-fold: 1) it will further enhance LeBron's image as someone who is forgiving and an all-around good guy, and 2) Stevenson is still a capable specialist that can D-up, hit an occasional shot, and annoy opponents.

We all know LeBron took a PR hit for The Decision three years ago -- a hit he's mostly recovered from. But still, as LeBron continues to build on his family-friendly image, what better than to join forces with a former enemy? Not only would DeShawn to the Heat make a good narrative for next year's playoffs, but it would make LBJ look like the second-coming of Jesus. Look, LeBron is cleansing Stevenson of all his sins!

Stevenson probably wouldn't play much, considering the bevy of wing players the Heat already have, but he's a useful guy to have on the end of the bench if you need one of those I-don't-give-a-shit-type players. If you can add one of those guys to an already championship caliber squad, you've got to do it. Especially when there's no risk of that guy complaining about playing time because he's been put in check by the best guy on the team. This is a no-risk, all-reward situation. Why not, LeBron?

Screw Him, LeBron!

The argument against taking Stevenson is almost entirely rooted in principle. Stevenson has been an annoying little shit for the better part of LeBron's career. Now he's supposed to do him a favor and hand him another championship? LBJ has all the leverage here. Denying Stevenson publicly would be the ultimate F-you, and would probably bring LeBron a great deal of secret satisfaction.

The basketball part of the equation is very minor here, considering the Heat roster. Stevenson will probably barely play if the Heat sign him, and he's only going to get paid the minimum. When he does play, he'll be displacing minutes from guys like Ray Allen and Shane Battier who are clearly better players. Sure, if someone goes down with injury it'd be nice to have some insurance, but the Heat can do better than a volatile 32-year-old who has been on four different teams in the past four years. If they wanted a better I-don't-give-a-shit guy, they could've scooped up Metta World Peace before the Knicks swooped in.

I understand that having a good image is LeBron's prerogative, and I totally admire it, but part of me just wants to see him keep it capital G. He should acknowledge the request, and then laugh at the fact the thought even crossed Stevenson's mind. Then he should have Jay-Z release "Blow the Whistle Part Two" where he shits on him for another 2-and-a-half minutes or so. My wish for this to happen has nothing to do with dislike for Stevenson or love of LeBron -- I'm pretty neutral on both. It's simply the most entertaining and hilarious scenario for the fans. So c'mon LeBron, give the fans what they want. We want "Blow the Whistle Part Two."

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